The Honest Toast

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Ever think about how the music you listen to defines your very being. I just shot down some tequila at the request of my roommate and I’m letting it do all the typing.

I’ve not been fine for a while now. The following sheds a little light on that.

I’ve spent the past 6 months over thinking my posts a bit too much cause starting this year, I let the majority of my friends and family know that I write every now and then. Halfway into the year and I decide to talk about it now. *Priorities* Anyway I grew really conscious whilst typing out new posts and I deleted some entirely. Reason which are stated below. This blog has never been private, I never intended it to be. However I recently felt quite naked knowing that my family/friends have read my really old posts. You know the immature ones with little to no editing at all.

Why did I decide to let everyone in? Well to be fair, no one was restricted, I just lit up the torch and let them find their way here starting this year. An old friend, somewhat of a confidant revealed that they weren’t pleased with some old posts of mine, with regards to the content and it baffled me. Now what I publish right now and here, is usually typed and worded out in the mood and place I’m in at this very moment. My old posts were written in the mood I was in at the point of time it was published. My emotional state shifts as per my environment. Guessing you, the reader are a bit frustrated over reading the obvious. Well that’s just how I felt explaining myself to that fool. I just had another shot of tequila, and I probably should take Barty Crouch Jr.’s advice to quit drinking, it’s making me Moody. *Harry Potter reference* Months after sorting that mess out, I find out that they are still quite upset about those posts. Well their reaction alerted me of how everyone I know who reads my blog may react to whatever I’ve written.

It sort of ruined the experience of writing, took the thrill right out of it. I could have easily changed what I’d written, but then that’d be unfair. It would be like photoshopping my old photos. Well the entire experience kept me away from social media. It was a very foolish thing in hindsight to let one individual’s disdain affect my outlook on everything. But this friend happened to be one of those individuals I’d break a few rules for. To hear that they were upset over not being included in a post, made me want to include everyone in my next post which was a bit silly. Moreover it bugged me that I was being judged for something I’d written years ago, in a different state of mind and that I’d literally done nothing wrong. I realized that as much as I want everyone to be happy, I can’t please them all.

So it was a long period of crappy months where I wallowed in sadness over how stupid people can be and in short, I was definitely not fine. I could have talked about something else and completely avoided the topic but that wouldn’t be very honest of me. Think I need my milkshake. I’m in a much happier place as compared to the start of this year, I don’t feel vulnerable about who reads my posts any longer or their opinions on it and I’ve collected more toys. I was even happier to be presented with a caramel milkshake by my roommate only to learn that it was cold coffee instead. *He tried*

luffy

My birthday passed by ever so quickly. A terribly good day filled with toys, brownies, cake, pizzas and a box of doughnuts. One of my gifts is so freaking incredible, a Monkey D. Luffy action figure complete with different hand gestures and facial expressions. I did much more than squeal in delight when I received it from my two roomies, I ended up hitting them in disbelief. Luffy is the protagonist of the longest running anime/manga series ‘One Piece’ which follows a group of misfit pirates on the hunt for a huge treasure “One piece”. A show that one skinny friend back in college introduced me to, that we’d sync our episodes up until assignments and the usual college drama hit us. The other prized gift, a hardcover deluxe edition of ‘Batman: The Killing Joke’ by Alan Moore and Brian Bolland. The other perk of my birthday was getting one of my roommates to watch ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. The nostalgia.

With that I end this post, I’ve got work in the morning, sleep to catch up on and a long day ahead.

P.S. – There’s a T-rex with a bad memory out there!

 

 

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One thought on “The Honest Toast

  1. A writer writes for oneself. What others think is merely their perception. Rowling or Virginia Woolf never wrote to be analysed over..neither should u..EVER!!..for writing is the thing for the subconscious to escape out in pages..so write to your heart’s content!!! :)

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