Dial ‘M’ for Murder!


{This is on the request of a friend}

I remember I could never stop laughing at this joke that read, “If someone were to stab me with a knife, I’d probably die laughing!” It still cracks me up. I was on the phone with a friend past midnight and as expected between friends, we ended up talking about utter rainbows and murdering people. This isn’t new to me, and I’m certain that there’s a billion other people who have thought about the same idea, which is *could I make this sentence any longer, oh yes I can… keep reading or skip ahead to the next para* wait what?!

Killing someone else – I’ve thought about it quite in detail, and don’t let me dwell on the fact that I’m alone in thinking about it. Alright there might be psychopaths and serial killers; spooky; they’ve been caught. So obviously they haven’t thought about it in detail. So have you or haven’t you? It’s not like I’m going to go ahead with the plan and kill someone! Geez, I’d kill them with my lame jokes, but really, human blood, organs and icky stuff doesn’t agree with me. I’d become a surgeon if I was alright with, urgh *thinking about it makes me sick*.

The reason as to why you’re killing them really doesn’t matter.

It was quite an interesting conversation, cause if my friend did murder someone, he’d have the perfect get away. He has a lake by his house where he could dump the body, ofcourse he’d have to cut it all up (Thank Dexter *dislike that show* and tons of other mental shows) and throw them in the lake. Surprisingly he wasn’t up for burning the body, which is what I suggested at first. I wouldn’t go the Hannibal route, even though I really love that show, eating humans; haven’t reached that stage yet.

Another point was that if it were an accident, and it would seem otherwise to the cops, then it’d be handy to know what to do with the body. It’s just feels like that boy scout training in school really taught me how to ‘Be Prepared’. We all have that one friend we’d call if such a scenario did take place, or we’ve thought about who we would call for help. They are of two types, either the smart one that knows how to get out of the situation with a clean slate or the gullible one who you manipulate into helping you out so you aren’t totally alone in this. Now of the people you call, all of them are close to you, unless you’re calling upon the dead one’s soul using a Ouija board.

A certain friend clicked this exclusively for this post.

A certain friend clicked this exclusively for this post.

I don’t know why these thoughts pop up, I guess out of boredom. It leans towards the darker side of the spectrum of thoughts with the lighter side involving those day dreams about rocking your jam whilst the crowd applauds. It’s also a bit exciting to put ourselves under false pressure, especially when we are used to it. I like how I’ve started saying we. I see it that way, I’m used to doing a ton of tasks and when I don’t have anything to do, the thoughts I dwell on usually have me bearing the weight of a high pressure scenario. I don’t know. I can say that this doesn’t happen in the loo however, as the labels and ingredients of toiletries become extremely fascinating. If not that, then I can just pit two characters against each other and weigh the odds as to who would win. You know what would be scary though, having a rat pop up from the pot. How do I know it’s scary? Experience. Even scarier is finding a huge cockroach. Then it sets free its wings and makes my worst nightmares a reality.

P.S. – This was supposed to be a spooky post. *Supposed* I am definitely in my senses.


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