Birthdays, not entirely a big fan of the day other than receiving a ton of gifts. This year everything’s being put on hold, including the gifts. As much as I tried to erase all links to my birthday, all it took was one loud mouth of a friend during dinner the night before, and everyone’s eyes glowed red like bats in a cartoon cave. Doom, awaited me.
The most awkward day ever~!
— So here’s a tiny list on how to not celebrate your birthday —
1. It’s just another day, go about the usual routine.
2. Don’t acknowledge wishes, try convincing the latter party that it’s definitely not your birthday. If you fail, make sure they know that it’s definitely awkward and that you are in no way pleased with them.
3. This should have been the second one, but run away from anyone who could possibly know it’s your birthday. Just avoid them.
4. Erase all info about your birthday online and offline, that includes social sites and Baskin Robbins, probably a week ahead. I made the mistake of doing it a few days ahead, which was pointless since they now send notifs a week ahead.
5. Eat the cake, eat some cake, any cake. It’s cake. Just eat it.
6. Convince those who think they know it’s your birthday that it’s not, that it’s indeed just a random date you selected whilst creating your profile before facebook had a +18 rule only
7. Don’t go out if possible, just stay in. Don’t interact with anyone, avoid them all. Dress shabby and
8. Call in sick.
9. Commit a crime. Get yourself imprisoned.
10. Eat cake. Did I point that out already?
11. Accept the gifts.
What they had to say ..
Mr. Mexico: I would sleep. Eventually people will throw cake at you. (I did once fall asleep only to be woken up to an awkward performance of ‘Happy Birthday’ and cake up my nostrils)
The Roomie: By Working. (Tried this too, twice. It did work in a way)
The Maiden: Answer exams. (It’s what she did for 9 years, and none of them went well)
The Squib: It’s too early in the morning for this. (squib)
Akshay Kumar: he’s a loner, so he doesn’t care much.
Kick-starting the birthday by hiding in the cupboard, not the best place. Sure it’s fun to play games on the phone in there, but it does get quite hot. The loo isn’t fairly the best place either, especially in a hostel where it’s frequented by many. The best place seemed to be to hide in plain sight, for instance I just sat in the shadows of the staircase whilst the fools were discussing their strategies right in front of me. I eventually did give in after an hour or so, thinking that what’ll happen, will happen. Did try to feebly convince them one last time that it really wasn’t my birthday before I was swinging in the air, having my backside kicked by everyone and then slapped by the giant. They did go easy on me, something I’m grateful for since we had our interviews panned out the next day.